Sleep training methods compared: from gentle to structured, side by side

Search for sleep training methods and you’ll find a lot of strong opinions. This guide is quieter. It lays out the four approaches that Irish and Australian child health services describe, or that have been tested in published trials, side by side: what each involves, who it suits, how long it tends to take, and what the research says.

If you want the short answer: for most families, the gentlest place to start is gradually reducing the help you give at bedtime, or the HSE’s gradual retreat. And if you’d rather not sleep train at all, that’s a perfectly good choice too.

What sleep training actually is (and what it isn’t)

“Sleep training” is a loose name for ways of helping a baby who’s over about 6 months learn to fall asleep with less help from you, and to settle back to sleep when they wake between sleep cycles. Waking briefly between cycles is normal for babies and toddlers, and they usually fall back asleep quickly if they wake up in the same place they fell asleep, with everything in the room the same (HSE).

What it isn’t:

• It isn’t for young babies. For babies under 6 months, the HSE advises holding and soothing them when they wake, feeding them if they’re hungry, and trying not to leave them crying for longer than a few minutes (HSE).
• It isn’t one thing. The approaches below range from staying beside your baby the whole time to brief, timed check-ins.
• It isn’t compulsory. The Australian parenting site Raising Children puts it simply: it’s up to you how much help you give your baby to fall asleep and resettle at night (Raising Children).
• It isn’t about ignoring your baby’s needs. Babies who are crying while they try to settle need comfort, and it’s worth checking first that your baby isn’t hungry, uncomfortable or unwell (Raising Children).

How we compared these methods

We included an approach only if a public health service describes it, or if it has been tested in a published randomised trial. Then we compared each one on five things:

1. Youngest age it’s described for, by the guidance or trials we cite.
2. How present you are: beside the cot the whole time, or checking in.
3. How much crying to expect. Most babies cry while they get used to any new way of falling asleep (Raising Children), so this is about how you respond to it.
4. Typical time to see a change, where the guidance gives one.
5. What the research shows, from randomised trials and systematic reviews.

A note on us: we sell a baby sleep book, The Whole Sleep Story, which covers these same options. We don’t sell or favour any particular method, and nothing here depends on buying anything.

The four approaches, from gentlest to most structured

Whichever you choose, start with a calm, predictable bedtime routine. Child health professionals almost always recommend one when you’re changing how your child sleeps (Raising Children). Our baby bedtime routine guide has ideas.

1. Gradually reducing your settling help, best for babies who need a lot of help to fall asleep

This is the most gradual approach. You start with however your baby falls asleep now and step down, one small change at a time, to something that needs less of you. Raising Children describes it in three stages (Raising Children):

1. Notice how your baby falls asleep now, for example being fed or rocked to sleep.
2. Step down, waiting until each step is easy before the next. Feed until drowsy rather than asleep, then rock to sleep. Then rock until drowsy and use hands-on settling (patting or gentle rocking in the cot). Then slow or stop the patting as your baby gets drowsy.
3. Leave the room while your baby is still awake, once they can fall asleep without feeding, rocking or patting.

If your baby gets very upset, it’s fine to stop and give them a cuddle, then carry on once they’re calm. If they still can’t settle, settle them whatever way works, and try again at the next bedtime. Raising Children says it can take anything from 3 days to 3 weeks for a baby to get comfortable with a new approach.

What the research shows: this is the approach Australian child health guidance leads with. We didn’t find a randomised trial that tested this exact sequence on its own.

Best suited for: families who want very little crying and don’t mind a slower pace. It works well if your baby is used to being fed or rocked all the way to sleep and you’d like to change that gently.

2. Gradual retreat (camping out, or the chair method), best for babies who protest when you leave the room

Here you stay in the room while your baby falls asleep, and move a little further away every few nights. The HSE describes it like this (HSE):

• Put your child into the cot awake and sit on a chair beside them. If they’re used to physical contact, rest your hand on their back for the first few nights, then gradually take it away before they fall asleep.
• Stay until they fall asleep.
• Once they can fall asleep like this every night, sit further away every 3 to 4 nights until you’re out of the room.
• Some parents find it easier to pretend to be asleep in the chair.

The HSE is honest that the first few nights are often very challenging, and that the third or fourth night is often worse than the first. But within a week or so you’ll usually see an improvement. Raising Children says camping out can take 1 to 3 weeks, suggests using it only with babies over 6 months, and recommends returning to your chair at whatever stage you’re at if your child wakes overnight (Raising Children).

What the research shows: camping out was one of two options parents could choose in a Melbourne trial of a nurse-led sleep programme for babies with sleep problems at 7 months (Hiscock et al., 2007). The results are covered under approach 4, because the trial reports the programme as a whole rather than each option separately.

Best suited for: babies over 6 months who are fine falling asleep in the cot but get upset the moment you leave. It suits parents who are happy to spend a couple of weeks of evenings sitting quietly in the bedroom.

3. Bedtime fading, best for babies who lie awake for ages at bedtime

Sometimes the problem isn’t how your baby falls asleep but when. If bedtime is a long, wakeful battle, your baby may simply not be tired enough yet. Bedtime fading works like this (Raising Children):

1. Choose your ideal bedtime. Bedtimes between 7pm and 8pm often work for young children.
2. Start a calm, consistent bedtime routine.
3. Put your baby to bed at the time they naturally fall asleep now, even if it’s later than you’d like, for about a week.
4. Move bedtime about 15 minutes earlier every few days until you reach your ideal time.

If your baby is still taking a long time to fall asleep after a week at their natural bedtime, Raising Children suggests stopping, and either trying again later or talking to your GP.

What the research shows: in a randomised trial of 43 babies aged 6 to 16 months, bedtime fading led to large reductions in how long babies took to fall asleep, with small-to-moderate drops in babies’ cortisol (a stress hormone) and in mothers’ stress. It didn’t produce the large drops in night waking seen with graduated extinction. A year later there were no differences in attachment or in emotional and behavioural problems (Gradisar et al., 2016).

Best suited for: babies who sleep reasonably well once they’re asleep but take a long time to drop off. Night waking is a separate problem, which bedtime fading doesn’t usually fix.

4. Controlled comforting (timed checks, controlled crying, or graduated extinction), best for frequent night waking

This is the most structured approach. You put your baby down awake, leave the room, and respond to crying at gradually increasing intervals, so they have the chance to settle on their own between your check-ins (Hiscock et al., 2007). Researchers call it graduated extinction.

What the research shows: this approach has the most trial evidence behind it.

• In the Gradisar trial, graduated extinction led to large reductions in both time to fall asleep and night waking. Babies’ cortisol showed small-to-moderate drops, and a year later there were no differences in attachment or in emotional and behavioural problems (Gradisar et al., 2016).
• In the Melbourne trial, parents were offered controlled crying or camping out. Fewer babies had sleep problems at 10 and 12 months, and mothers reported fewer symptoms of depression (Hiscock et al., 2007). At age 2, mothers in the programme were still less likely to report depression symptoms, with no sign of harm to parenting or children’s mental health (Hiscock et al., 2008).
• At age 6, children from the same programme showed no differences either way in emotional health, behaviour, stress or closeness with their parents (Price et al., 2012).
• A review of 52 studies for the American Academy of Sleep Medicine found support for graduated extinction, along with bedtime fading and positive routines (Mindell et al., 2006).

Worth knowing: the HSE’s sleep pages lead with gradual retreat rather than timed checks. For night wakings in babies over 6 months, the HSE suggests waiting a minute before going in, then holding and soothing your child, settling them back in their own cot and leaving once they’ve settled (HSE). If you’re considering timed checks, talk it through with your public health nurse or health visitor first.

Best suited for: babies over 6 months who are well and waking often at night, with parents who want a structured plan and feel able to manage some crying between checks. It isn’t the right choice if it doesn’t sit well with you, and that’s fine.

What about “cry it out”?

Unmodified extinction means putting your baby down and not going back in until morning. The Mindell review found strong research support for it (Mindell et al., 2006). But public health guidance in Ireland and Australia emphasises responding to babies who are crying, and Raising Children specifically advises against leaving crying babies alone for long periods (Raising Children). For that reason we don’t describe it step by step here.

Side-by-side comparison

The criteria are the five from our method: age, your presence, crying, time and evidence.

Approach	Described for	Where you are	Crying and how you respond	Typical time to change	Evidence
Gradually reducing settling help	Reducing help from 6–9 months	With your baby throughout	Some protest is likely; you stop and cuddle if they’re very upset	3 days to 3 weeks	Public health guidance; no trial of this sequence alone
Gradual retreat / camping out	Over 6 months	In the room, moving further away every 3–4 nights	Protest is likely, especially when the chair moves; you comfort from the chair	1–3 weeks; often improving within a week	Public health guidance (HSE, Raising Children); part of a randomised programme
Bedtime fading	Any age; studied at 6–16 months	Your usual routine	Not the focus; your baby goes to bed when they’re naturally sleepy	About a week, then 15 minutes earlier every few days	Randomised trial: falls asleep faster; not a fix for night waking
Controlled comforting / timed checks	Studied at 6–16 months	Outside the room, checking in at increasing intervals	Crying is likely between checks	Not given by the guidance we cite	Randomised trials and a 52-study review: falls asleep faster, fewer night wakings, no harm found at 1, 2 or 6 years

Which approach might fit your family

Your situation	Approach to consider	Why
Baby under 6 months	Responsive settling, without formal sleep training	The HSE advises soothing and feeding young babies when they wake
Baby is fed or rocked all the way to sleep, and you want minimal crying	Gradually reducing settling help	Small steps, and you stay to comfort throughout
Baby falls asleep in the cot but cries when you leave	Gradual retreat	You fade your presence rather than your comfort
Baby lies awake for a long time at bedtime but sleeps reasonably well after	Bedtime fading	It moves bedtime gently earlier rather than battling at bedtime
Baby over 6 months, waking often at night, and you want a structured plan	Controlled comforting, after a chat with your public health nurse	It has the strongest trial evidence for night waking
Baby is unwell, teething or going through a big change	Wait	The HSE advises not working on independent sleep while your child is unwell

Before you start, and when to get help

• Check your baby is well. Don’t work on getting your child to sleep on their own while they’re unwell; start again when they’re better (HSE).
• Pick one approach and be consistent. Respond the same way at bedtime and overnight.
• Look after yourself. If you start to feel angry or overwhelmed, put your baby somewhere safe, take a moment, and hand over to a partner if you can (Raising Children).
• Get support. If things aren’t improving after a few nights, or your baby is becoming more upset, talk to your public health nurse, health visitor or GP (Raising Children). Tell them too if you’re feeling low. Infant sleep problems and low mood in parents often go together, and help is available (Hiscock et al., 2008).